After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
