There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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