he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
