I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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