I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
