Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
