Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
