How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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