I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
