she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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