I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
