She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
