You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
