i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
