i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
