eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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