Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
