After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
