It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
love makes seman taste better
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
