Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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