I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
