im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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