I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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