I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
