There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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