spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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