I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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