I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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