two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
