I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
