btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
