The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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