just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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