Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
