man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
