I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
