dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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