"it" just moved
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
