I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
