I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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