How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
