I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
