she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
