I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
