dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
