I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
