Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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