i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
