She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish you could order shots online.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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