i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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