Sry I called you an 8
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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