I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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