This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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