I've blown a few things in my day
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
